The other week I had a few days where I was feeling like things weren’t going great with my husband. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I was just feeling unhappy. I thought perhaps he was in a funk or taking his stress out on me, or something.
Anyway, a few days passed and I started feeling better about our relationship. I started smiling at him again, and doing things just to make him happy and enjoying being around him.
As I reflected on the change in my feelings, trying to figure out the reason, I realised that nothing about my husband or his behaviour had really changed. He hadn’t been treating me poorly then, and he hadn’t dramatically upped his kindness to me or anything.
I realised the only thing that had changed were my feelings. Not the situation.
Only a few days prior, I had been framing my entire concept of reality around my feelings. I felt like something was wrong between us, so I assumed there was.
Jeremiah 17:9 says:
The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?
If our hearts are deceitful, that means we can’t trust what they are telling us.
I think it’s useful to recognise our feelings, to acknowledge them and see what they may be pointing to. At the moment, I think most of my feeling changes (or mood swings?) are more related to post-natal hormones and tiredness than they are to my external circumstances.
So I can’t trust that what my heart tells me – what I feel – is the objective truth.
Two things I need to remember:
- God’s word, understood through His Spirit, is the only source of objective truth. I can turn to the Lord to find the rock for my feet when I feel like I’m drowning in a sea of emotions. “All other ground is sinking sand…” as the hymn goes.
- I can still treat my husband (and my kids, and anyone else…) well regardless of how I’m feeling about them at any given time. I don’t have to be a slave to my feelings, going to and fro as they dictate.
Lastly, I’ve been really enjoying this song lately – The Well, by JJ Heller.
In particular, the second verse really resonates with me:
I followed my heart
But it led me astray
I should not have gone
But I went anyway
Now I find myself here
All battered and bruised
I was chasing the wind
I should have been chasing you
Hope you enjoy the song! (Plus, the video is really cute 🙂 )