If I Could Stop Time

There are certain things that highlight, for me, the swift passing of time.

The changing colours of the leaves is one of them. And each child’s birthday is another.

And so now that my youngest child is one and the leaves are bright reds, yellows and oranges all around us, I can’t help but think about how fast the days and years roll over.

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Sometimes I just want to stop time in it’s place and check I’m doing everything I can be… being the best mother I can, the best wife I can, the best friend I can. It feels like time moves too fast to properly handle everything, and that if I could somehow stop it, then maybe I’d have a chance to get it all right.

Or some moments seem so perfect, I wish I could stay there for longer. Like when my two little boys are rolling around on the bed, “wrestling” and shrieking together. Or when my daughter sits for half an hour at her dressing table, carefully colouring in a picture. Or the chilled air of a perfect, quiet morning.

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What I’m learning is that while I can’t stop time (or rewind it and redo it), I can make sure that I’m pouring my best into each moment I’m given.

Not worry about what’s coming, just handle what is right in front of me in the best way possible.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34

Sometimes that means leaving the dishes for another time so I can read a pile of books with my kids. And sometimes it means telling the kids we’ll read books later because I really do need to wash the dishes.

Sometimes that means giving up my “lunch break” during nap time to get through a stack of paperwork. And sometimes it means leaving the paperwork for another day because I need to go lie on the grass and look at the sky.

Sometimes that means getting up at 6am and spending time in prayer with the Lord, while the house is still quiet. And sometimes it means turning off the alarm and thanking God for just a little bit more sleep, after being up all night with a baby.

There is a time for everything.

This can be hard to discern sometimes. When is it time to clean the house, and when is it time to let go of our standards?

I often quote to myself James 1:5 when I’m struggling with my priorities:

 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

God has all the wisdom we need about how to give our best self to any particular moment. He knows what we ought to be doing, and He will gladly guide us if we just ask him.

 

One day I won’t have babies any more. One day I won’t have toddlers any more. One day I won’t have little kids, or big kids or teenagers any more.

I will have adult children and the work of “raising” will be done.

For now, I want to fully take in each moment… do the work needed, love with all my heart and point to Jesus with my every word and action.

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I’ll leave you with the words of Sara Groves, “This Cup”:

How many hours have I spent
Watching this shining tv
Living adventure in proxy
In another person’s dream
How many miles have I traveled
Looking at far away lights
Listening for trains in the distance
In some brilliant other life?

This cup, this cup
I wanna drink it up
To be right here in the middle of it
Right here, right here
This challenging reality
Is better than fear or fantasy

So take up what we’ve been given
Welcome the edge of our days
Hemmed in by sunrise and sunset
By our youth and by our age
Thank God for our dependence
Here’s to our chasm of need
And how it binds us together
In faith and vulnerability

This cup, this cup
I wanna drink it up
To be right here in the middle of it
Right here, right here
This challenging reality
Is better than fear or fantasy

What if my whole world falls apart?
What if my life could be different?
What if I sat right here and took you in
Without the fear and loved you whole
Without the flight and didn’t try to pass

This cup, this cup
I wanna drink it up
To be right here in the middle of it
Right here, right here
This beautiful reality
Is better than fear or fantasy
Is better than fear or fantasy
Is better than fear or fantasy

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