Nostalgia

(I’m taking a break from my Personal Mission Statement series – I’ll get back to that soon.)

My husband and I spent some child-free time away from home this weekend, thanks to my sister and brother-in-law. We stayed in the city where we met, married and started our family.

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As we drove around the once-familiar streets, memories kept flying at me.

Our first date.

One hundred rooftop sunsets.

Walks along the local streets.

Catching the train to uni each day.

The apartment we lived in as newlyweds.

There was lots of deep sighing and “Oh! Do you remember when we…?” on my part.

B asked me, “Do you miss it here?”

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It took me a while to answer him.

And then I talked at him for a solid 10 minutes. My poor husband.

I said that it wasn’t quite that I missed it. I didn’t want to move back and live there now, not in our current stage of life.

But thinking back to those years – particularly the dating and uni years – it feels like it went too fast.

I lived life passionately. I made great memories, and great friends.

But I don’t think I had any concept of how quickly the time would pass, or how much that time would influence the future me.

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I am now living with the fruits of those years, and by God’s grace they are very good.

I didn’t know that my husband would make a godly leader and wonderful Dad, I just thought he was hot.

How will I feel when I look back on this time of our lives?

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Will I feel sadness and regret? Or will I feel satisfied that I did the best I could with what I was given?

Looking back is a good reminder to me that what I do now counts.

Just as I am now living with the consequences (good and bad) of decisions I made years ago, one day I will live with the consequences of the life I am living now.

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Every day, I am making little choices and forming little habits that will add up to a certain kind of person.

Every day, I am deciding what matters to me, whether consciously or subconsciously.

Every day, I am saying “yes” to some things, and “no” to others.

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When I look back on these days, five years on, I want to feel pleased with how I spent them.

I want to know that I used the time well, and that nothing was wasted.

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