How to Not be a Total Cow to your Sick Husband

A letter to myself, and anyone else who needs it.

Dear Self,

Isn’t it great being married?

You married a human man, which has many benefits, but it also means he sometimes gets sick. If you didn’t want to deal with a sick husband from time to time, you probably should have married a robot.

You should already know this from past experience, but since you have a habit of forgetting your mistakes, the following things DO NOT HELP when your husband is sick:

– Huffing and puffing because he is not being as helpful as usual.

– Giving him the death stare because he dares to request some water.

– Patting him on the back when he asks for a hug.

– Sending the children in to wake him up (okay, you DID genuinely think that would make him feel better!)

For future reference, here are some ways to actually make him feel better:

Kind Words

“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24

Kind words are necessary at the best of times, but when your husband is sick, they will go a long way to making him feel better.

I’m not talking about singing him the “Soft Kitty” song whilst stroking his head and hand-feeding him grapes.

I’m talking about asking, “Would you like a cup of tea?”, when you’re already run off your feet.

I’m talking about saying, “I’m sorry you’re feeling so bad, is there anything I can do to help you feel better?”

I’m talking about saying, “You rest up; I’ll handle it”, if he can’t manage everything he usually does.

Extend healing words of grace.

Do Not Despise Weakness

It’s common to joke about how men act when they’re sick (“man flu”) and I’ve certainly done this before. But on further reflection, I’ve realised this is actually quite disrespectful.

Wives are taught in the Bible to respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:33), and this does not include a caveat for times when they display weakness.

Allow him to be sick, and do not mock or ridicule him, however he handles it.

Physical Touch

This goes hand-in-hand with kind words. Physically connecting with your husband when he’s sick will help him to feel much better, and even has the ability to remove some of his physical symptoms. For example, massaging the temples can get rid of a headache (if only temporarily).

Touching as you pass him or rubbing his back while you chat are great ways to get lots of touching into the day.

Hugs are great but remember, only dogs like being patted!

Also, Sexual Healing – it’s a thing.

Pray for Him

Praying for your husband, especially when he is sick, helps you keep your focus on honouring God through ministry to your husband. Prayer reminds you that it is God who meets your needs, not your husband.

And through prayer, God will supply you with the extra energy and patience you need when your husband is sick.

Praying over your husband, for his speedy healing, will also be a great encouragement to him.

So, dear Self, next time your husband is sick, try to remember these things. You have the power to make him even more miserable, or to be a source of joy, and even speed up his healing!




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